Mother's Day Flower Delivery – When Mom has Alzheimer's

Mothers Day Flower Delivery – When Mom has Dementia or Alzheimer's

Ways to Celebrate With Mom

5 Things To Consider In Planning Your (Her Celebration)

Mothers Day Flower Delivery is celebrating this year with a mom with Alzheimer's Disease. This devastating disease ravages the mind and robs families of precious time, patience and resources.

Relationships are stressed. Alzheimer's is a disease that is crippling and frightening for everyone, but especially for the person who has it.

Both our mothers are gone now, but we enjoy their memory by sharing the best of her between us and with family at special gatherings.

This year we are spending time with dear and special friends whose mom remembers us better than she does them. We consider it an honor that she remembers us, but to her family who are also her caregivers, it is a curse.

We know that because when we walked into the room she greeted us by name, which got us an agitated look from several family members. Just a few minutes later she came up to us and pointed at her daughter and asked us to tell her, . . . "Who that woman was . . ." "That woman," was her daughter, who had been single-handedly caring for her mom for nearly a year by then.

Here are a few tips to help you with your celebrations involving your mom or a mom with Alzheimer's. These tips will work for any family member. We know they will help.

1 - Celebrate with them in a place they know and feel comfortable in. For instance, if they always come to your house – Don't move the celebration somewhere they have only been to once – or never been to at all.

2 - Play along instead of being correcting them or being critical of where they think they are. If they believe they are in the airport, at a friend's house or another family members home instead of yours, then ask them if they have a place they like to sit in more than another place and then help them into that chair. Do not correct them, or remind them that where they believe they are really isn't where they are.

If you can't get the hang of this then here's a simple trick you can use to master the technique – Look at them, hear what they are saying and imagine it being you. What would you like people to say back to you in that same situation? What if it was you instead of them. Can you count? – Then count your blessings right now.

One woman we know thought she was on an unending cruise and that all her caregivers were the ship's crew. She was the happiest person we knew because she was always enjoying her 'trip' and was most comfortable by the piano because she loved to sing, plus she was always complimenting the 'crew' (staff) on how well they were doing.  Her story has made for years of humble laughter for us, and family memories that were re-told for years.

3 – The time that you plan your celebration is important. Time of day, not so much time of year. Often as the day wears on, your loved one may struggle with simple tasks and have more trouble articulating thoughts and meanings. As they become more tired, they also become more anxious, so a breakfast or late morning meal could be the best choice compared to a late afternoon or evening barbecue.

So, if you, ". . . just don't get why Mom is so cranky in the afternoon." Wake up and smell the coffee with her. She may be tired and struggling with her day by mid afternoon or early evening. If you are planning a celebration involving your Alzheimer's mom then plan your time well.

4 – What kinds of decorations do you have planned?   Most people struggling with Alzheimer's are older.   That translates to mean that their vision isn't as sharp as their younger family members.   Not being able to see something special is no fun – for anyone.

One way to be helpful and considerate of this is to plan on decorations that have a bright theme. If there are no bright colors then incorporate them into your decorating plan. For instance for the 4th of July use bright red and bright blue versus dull or traditional colors that are mostly dark or muted.

Not only will it provide a more cheerful atmosphere, but your special guest will be that much happier to be able to see, . . . "what the 'fuss' is all about!"

5 – What to do, What to do . . . Make your day as simple as possible – especially if children will be attending too. Kids love to paint and so do Alzheimer's and moms with Demntia. They also like to sing. You can either play an instrument they can sing along to or use a CD (Karaoke if you prefer). Keep in mind older songs are better than new ones – Those are the song words that will be remembered best, and cause the least stress to someone with a fading memory.

Any activity that came from moms past is a good one – especially if it taps into their creative energy, because those are the kinds of things that are remembered easiest for them.

For instance, painting, coloring books, clay modeling, anything like that – And let everybody else there play too! Make sure you have enough supplies for your whole crowd! You might be surprised at how much fun your celebration with your Alzheimer's or Dementia parent will end up being!

It's harder than tough to watch a thriving parent go downhill with this cruel disease, knowing that there really is nothing you can do to prevent the downhill slide.

One thing you can do, though to help keep your own sanity, is remember that it has nothing to do with you. Keep their life as simple as possible, laugh often, turn reminders of, "Yes, 'mom,' You did that (20, 30, last year)," to yourself and instead ask them questions about that time – even if you've heard the answers before.

Find caregivers, family, and doctors you can talk to – you may need a support system yourself.

"If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been." ~Robert Brault

Mothers Day Flower Delivery hopes your celebrations with your Alzheimer's and/or Dementia parent are the kinds of celebrations that help you remember – Not forget.